"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it is about learning to dance in the rain" (unknown)

"Without Darkness, there would be no Light" (unknown)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Christmas Blues

Christmas came and went. I wanted it to be special this year because this Christmas marked the end of a tradition in our old family home; it was the last Christmas in that house. Unfortunately I had been fighting a migraine for 3 days and was feeling tired and depressed. I swear I have a block when it comes to holidays. I start off with all the intentions of having a good holiday, but something always manages to drag me down and I haven't learned to not "permit" it from happening. I wish I could be like my sister and put on a happy face and fake it.

I did make it over first thing in the morning to watch the little ones open their gifts; they are so cute! I will post pics later... haven't uploaded them to my puter just yet. No gifts for the adults this year... due to the financial hardships, we decided to just focus on the little ones. The girls got lots of Barbies, including Monster High dolls. Kaden got noisy little boy toys LOL and all three kids got plenty of clothes. They were very happy with everything. Afterwards I headed home and went back to bed for a few hours before I had to start cooking.

We did a potluck dinner this year... I was assigned the Green Bean Casserole. I arrived with my dish still hot and right on schedule. Dinner was served buffet style, and being as there was no dining room table, the adults ate in the living room and the kids ate at their little table. Several of our traditional items were missing this year. No chocolate pie, no fruit salad, no yams, no pumpkin pie. My 19 year old had to work and he was greatly missed. The whole experience was... well it was just off; it didn't feel right. When I got home later, I just wanted to cry, then I went back to bed.

Depression sucks.

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