"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it is about learning to dance in the rain" (unknown)

"Without Darkness, there would be no Light" (unknown)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Day 4 of 15 Days of Thankfulness

November 13th - Day 4 - 3 Things about your childhood you are thankful for.

This one is a tad bit difficult, only because I was not a happy child; I seemed to be hell bent on being angry at the world for no apparent reason. Looking back, I really regret the person I was back then and all the lost memories to look fondly back on; instead, I have blanks spots. I had so much to be grateful for, and so many opportunities to enjoy life and to just be happy, but as a child... I was too angry and oppositional to realize it, and to this day, I still don't understand why. According to my Mom I was born into this lifetime pissed off. Thankfully I did outgrow all that anger, well... it mostly evolved into depression which I have struggled with most my life, but that person that I was all those years ago no longer exists. It was a slow painful process but the butterfly eventually emerged from the cocoon.

So with that in mind, the first thing about my childhood that I am thankful for... my family, who loved me unconditionally even though I was a horrid child. I was blessed with an amazing family; a very close, loving, supportive family who believed strongly that family stuck together no matter what.

The second thing that I am thankful for... the family vacations, although I have very few memories of those times because I was too busy being miserable and I seem to have blocked alot of those times out, and I missed out on the family outings because I was too busy shutting them all out... MY LOSS. My Mom & Dad were awesome and tried their best to give us kids everything, including wonderful vacations and family outings, family dinners, etc that should have built wonderful memories, and would have if I wasn't so hell bent on being miserable all the time. I have many regrets about my past, and looking back... it hurts like hell and it's no one's fault but my own.

The third thing that I'm thankful for... my best friend Dee Ann, who for some crazy reason never gave up on me. She would take all the meanness I dished out and always came back for more... determined that we would be best friends no matter what, and we have stayed BFFs for most of our lives... 30 something years and counting.

I thought I would share some pics of me and my family. I wish I had photos of some of our vacations and more pics of my teen years to share, but they are packed away in Mom's stuff.

   Mom, Me (with doll), and my sister              Me (yellow) and my sister                   Me

Me and Mom on my 17th birthday at Slide Rock. 
My favorite birthday growing up.

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