Mixed with grief
Generous widespread chronic pain
Pile on multiple health issues
A splash of spontaneous frustration
2 dashes of anger, stirred well
Mix in random uncontrollable crying fits
A heap of fatigue
Large dose of Fuck This
Fold in equal portions Despair & Loneliness
Shake well and let fester
This meme... or whatever you want to call it, struck a chord on a particularly difficult day (today), but I tweaked it some, because in substituting "grief" with "depression" and adding a few extra bits, it rings even more true.
You don't get over it,
You get through it
...until you don't
It doesn't get better
It gets different
....overwhelmingly so
Everyday, just like me
depression puts on a new face
....smiling, somber, tired....
while slowly shattering inside
I received two more diagnoses today, nothing life threatening, mind you, but the news just hit extra hard. I think I cannot take anymore. I've come to the conclusion that I shall obstain from future medical testing, because I dont want to know any longer. Enough is enough. Stick a fork in me, I'm done. A person can only stay strong for so long before breaking, even a warrior.
Is this defeat?
Who knows.... tomorrow is a new day; maybe I'll feel better, but tonight I had to vent.
I gets different. That is the truth. And sometimes, we must give ourselves time to say "enough is enough"... until our enough, too, gets different.
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